From Grief to Joy

Have you ever had those days where you just want to collapse under the weight of your own inadequacy? Today was one of those days for me. The events leading up to it are rather irrelevant at this point, but to put it simply, I felt like my whole process in sanctification had stopped, and there I was, unrefined, filthy and useless, trying to find a way to get to a perfectly holy God.

I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 7:9b-10 For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. My immediate fear was that I had worldly sorrow, and would not truly be brought to repentance. After all, how easy it is to over-analyze how you’re feeling, or what you’re thinking, to a point of exhaustion and no longer feel sorry for your sin. That is worldly grief that produces death.

In seeking to discover what I most needed to pray for, I found I was talking a lot about me, myself, and I. I felt this way, I wanted things this way, I hadn’t done this, I had done this, I always got stuck here, I… i… i…

Identity.

Isn’t that the word for the hole inside of us? We are all seeking our identity. That’s why we have personalized license plates, favorite colors, clothing fashions, hair styles, and so much more. Have you ever walked into a store and immediately thought of a particular friend simply by glancing at the items? There’s a sense of identity there: That’s SO her.

Searching for that identity is quite a journey, and I would not be quick to condemn dressing in ways that are so you, or doing certain things because that’s what you do, and who you are. There is much to be said about the individual lives that God has given each one of us. He did not create a collection of unified robots and name then “R2” and “R3” and “R4.” Rather, we’re each unique, we’re each complete individuals. And that’s the way God planned it to be.

Yet, there’s one aspect of that which is easily forgotten… that I had forgotten today. And that was that mystical union with Christ- that in Christ we are spotless and purified children of God.

I told my fiancé of my distress, and he sympathized with my anxiety, but then he spoke the words of truth I so badly needed to hear.

“There are many times in one's life where there is a great sense of inadequacy. Even smart people who go to grad school to get PhDs (or just go to seminary) look at everything, throw their hands up, and say, "What am I doing? I hardly know anything." You could Proverbs 1:7 and Colossians 2:2-3 it up! Or you could get some Hebrews 12:22-24 action in your life. But, probably what you need to realize is this....having a good theology with all of one's t's cross and i's dotted, and being in a relationship (even being engaged or married) is not going to be your solution in life. Because when your theology just doesn't speak to you at a certain moment, you feel like all is crumbling. You have to remember you would have never gotten to the holy mountain top simply by growing in grace.”

What I did today was cast aside my faith for a unsatisfying religion. I knew I was a miserable worm, and felt that uselessness rather acutely. But rather than running to the cross and claiming the promises of God, and glorifying Him for the beautiful, inexplicable union that we have in Christ, I grieved with a worldly grief that I wasn’t as good as I could be and sought to rectify the problem by trying to “grow in grace” and please the Lord. But we cannot get to that mountain top by growing in grace, we cannot even come to the bottom of that mountain by growing in anything- grace, goodness, or love.

Truth is: our identity without Christ is deadness. And no amount of working, and wiggling, crying or screaming can get us anywhere else. Until we can glorify in the work the Lord has done in us through Christ whatever we think we are is useless. Our identity is useless, unless it is found in Christ. Really, when, with humility we realize what we are without him there should be a great deal of grief- grief that is transformed into repentance and then to joy. Such is the joy of Christ.

It’s been nearly two weeks since I wrote that, and I must say that the joy of the Lord has been richer and deeper than it has been in nearly a year. Not that I have not been happy, because I certainly have; but there is little that replaces the deep, fathomless love of God. My heart is overflowing with a good theme! (Ps. 45:1)

The God who Moves Mountains

I recently read this story, and couldn't help but pass it on. It brought tears to my eyes, and I was convicted. Prayer does not need to be a complicated ritual that interrupts the motion of our days, rather, it's a simple act of faith: God, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.

He really can move mountains.
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Uganda, A Bet, and a Prayer

Note from Doug Nichols, International Director for Action Team World Wide.

Uganda is back in the news these days because of elections and problems within the nation. While praying for Uganda, I was reminded of a story I read several years ago. I found it and wanted to send it to you to encourage you in your prayer life, and to remember the great nation of Africa in prayer. I trust this story will encourage you, not to make bets on God answering prayer, but simply trust in the sovereignty of God! Let's trust Him to move in the hearts of men and women throughout the world.

In December 1994, Doug Coe, who is a remarkable man of faith working and living in Washington D.C., told this story about his friend, Bob Hunter. Bob was a new Christian, searching about to understand what it all meant. One day he asked Doug, his good friend: "Doug, do you really believe what the Bible says about moving mountains when we pray?" Doug thought about it, and answered "sure." Bob was rather incredulous, and asked him, "Do you mean to say that you believe that if I prayed for a mountain to move, that it would move?" Doug thought for a while and the conversation went something like this:

"Let me put it this way. I not only believe it, but I'll make you a bet. A $500 bet. Bob, what do you know about Africa?"

"Nothing."

"What do you think about when you think of Africa?"

"I think about monkeys swinging from trees."

"Then here's the bet. I want you to pray for 45 days. 'God help Africa.' You can't miss a single day. And that's all you have to pray, 'God help Africa.' At the end of 45 days, you be the judge on whether any mountains have moved. If you think a mountain has moved, you pay me $500. If you don't think a mountain has moved, you just tell me, and I'll pay you $500, no questions asked."

Bob, being an astute businessman, rather liked the odds. He accepted the bet. And he began to pray daily, "God help Africa."

Just a few days later, he was at a dinner, and sat next to an elderly lady. In the course of the conversation, he found out she lived in Uganda, and ran an orphanage there. He began asking her a number of questions about Uganda and Africa. After awhile, she finally asked him why he was so interested in Africa. To which he responded, with some embarrassment, "You'll never believe this, but I made a bet with a good friend," and proceeded to tell her about his bet with Doug Coe. By the end of the evening she invited him to return to Uganda with her in a few days to visit the orphanage. He accepted the invitation.

You can guess that when he visited the orphanage in Uganda, his heart was touched by the orphans. After coming back to the U.S. he got a few friends together and bought a load of toys and clothes, and sent them to Uganda. The following week, he got a phone call from the woman at the orphanage: "Mr. Hunter, the children are so grateful for what you did, they would love it if you could come again so they can make a special presentation to you to show you their appreciation. Can you come?" He accepted the invitation, and was off to Uganda again.

After a very heartwarming ceremony at the orphanage, there was a phone call for Bob from the President of Uganda. He had heard about the gifts and called to thank him personally and on behalf of his country, for what Bob had done for the orphans. He also invited Bob to visit him that afternoon.

When Bob arrived that afternoon for his appointment, the President was just in the middle of rushing out of his office. He apologized that he had to go off to some appointment, but invited Bob to come along, so they could get acquainted in the car. Bob accepted. Along the way, at one of the stops, Bob looked out the window to see what appeared to be a stockyard; only this was a stockyard not filled with cattle, but with men. Bob asked the President what he was seeing. The President responded that it was a political prison, and those men were his political enemies. The conversation went something like this:

"But Mr. President, that's not right to have men living in such horrible conditions. You must let them go."

"But those are my political enemies; men who have tried to subvert my authority. I cannot let them go. That would be foolish."

"You have to let them go; it's just not right that human beings would have to live in those conditions."

The conversation did not last long, and shortly thereafter Bob was back home in the U.S. About a week after getting back, he received a phone call. This time it was the State Department asking him to come to a meeting with the Undersecretary for African Affairs.

Rather puzzled over the purpose of such a meeting, he nevertheless went to the appointment. At the meeting, the Undersecretary of State for African Affairs and Bob had a conversation along these lines:

"Mr. Hunter, on behalf of the Government of the United States, I want to thank you for what you have done in Uganda."

"What? The U.S. Government is thanking me for sending some toys to some orphans in Uganda?"

"No, Mr. Hunter. It is about the political prisoners."

"What about the political prisoners?"

"The President of Uganda recently released the political prisoners, which is something our government has been trying to get him to do for years, without success. He told us after taking this action that he was doing it because of what you said to him."

"What I said to him?"

"Yes. What exactly did you say to him?"

Needless to say, Bob Hunter was flabbergasted. But the story doesn't end there. After the State Department meeting, the President of Uganda called Bob over the phone, and asked him to return to Uganda to help him form a new cabinet for his country.

"But Mr. President, I don't know anything about your country or the people who would best serve in your government. I'm just an American businessman. How can I possibly help you choose a cabinet?"

"Mr. Hunter, I trust you. Please come."

Bob went. And did what he could to help the President select his new ministers. And since that time, a close friendship has developed between Bob Hunter, American businessman, and the President of Uganda. The President even stays in Bob's home in the D.C. area when he visits the U.S.

And you can guess, after those 45 days of praying "God help Africa," Bob Hunter sent Doug Coe a check for $500.

That night in Gig Harbor Doug Coe proceeded to tell us that he told his story later to a group of around twenty very successful business executives, all members of Young Presidents Organization, an international association of business people who have become the chief executives or owners of companies above a certain size by age 40.

After he told the story at this YPO lunch, 13 of them came up to him and asked him if he would take on the bet with them. Swallowing hard, after doing some quick math, he nevertheless accepted the bet. He laid out the ground rules for them, that they had to pray every day for 45 days. They did not have to tell him what they were praying for, and at the end of the 45 days, it would be entirely up to them to decide whether a mountain had moved as a result of their prayers.

After those 45 days, Doug received 12 checks for $500 each. A while later, he received the 13th check, accompanied by a letter that said something like this:

"Doug, my mountain did not move. But the discipline of praying every day for 45 days has changed my life, and so I feel I owe you this $500."

36 Hours in Praha

Our 36 hour adventure in Prague was the highlight of my trip to Europe. Early one Wednesday we got on a bus, drove 6 hours (and watched more movies than we had all year), and arrived in Prague with hardly any idea where we needed to go next. Andersen got to use her Russian- something she hardly ever expected to do in the Czech Republic, and we had a blast walking all over the city.



St. Vitus Cathedral was situated entirely within Prague Castle. The day we visited this was overcast with rain on and off- cold, eerie and wet- made this castle the epitome of Gothic architecture.













We passed this spot of the Vlatava River just before sunset- if we hadn't been in a hurry we would have sat there until dark.











One of the things I looked forward to the most about Prague was discovering more of the history of John Huss's ministry. He is considered by many to be the fore-runner to the Protestant reformation and was a contemporary of Wycliffe. He burned at the stake for his strong, harsh words against the heresies of the Roman Catholic church during the early 1400s (Martin Luther was largely influenced by Huss's teachings). One of the churches Huss had the opportunity to frequently preach at during his lifetime was Bethlehem Chapel in Prague. Citizens of Prague flocked to hear him expound upon the beautiful, and sometimes frightful doctrines of the Holy Scriptures. Unfortunately, after searching for over an hour to find this Chapel we were sorely disappointed to find the beautiful Kapel surrounded by hotels, restaurants and apartment buildings, the Chapel itself no longer used for a chapel at all. A simple plaque was all that existed to reference what the large, plain building used to be.

But we reasoned that since the Czech Republic is largely influenced by the surrounding Eastern European countries it was no surprised that a Protestant heretic was not memorialized. After all, the practicing religion in nearly all of Eastern Europe is still Roman Catholicism or Eastern Orthodoxy. We gave up our search for any remains of John Huss, and enjoyed the rest of our stay. It wasn't until I was going through my pictures when I returned home that I discovered the nature of this statue below.

We had taken a picture of it because of its unique and isolated standing in the center of Old Town Square, near the Orloj, or Prague Astronomical Clock. Czech-written description tags were of no help to two American tourists, so I waited until I was home to Google the statues and discover their significance. I was pleasantly surprised to discover this statue was erected to honor none other than John Huss.

Huss was admired by his flock as a strong, unyielding shepherd. Thus, the arrangement of the statue. Huss's tall, stoic figure represents the surity and bravery with which he led, and the prostrate followers at his feet represent his humble followers who looked to him and the Truth he taught for their freedom.

Huss's condemnation and execution in 1415 followed several years of conflict between Huss, Wycliffe and their followers with the Roman church. Finally, on July 6th, 1415 Huss was brought before the Council in the Cathedral. He was asked twice to recant, and he twice refused. Finally, crowning him with a paper hat on which was written Haeresiarcha (Leader of the Heretical Movement) he was lead to the stake to be burned. Though Huss's followers were condemned and disowned, even by family and close friends, after his death, and most of his work was forgotten, he was rediscovered by a young German monk in Wittenburg, whose struggles to understand the truth of the Scriptures had been recently blessed trough Huss's teachings.

Huss's final words ring as a prophesy of sorts, and God's providence in history is indisputable. With a unfaltering voice, and a heart filled with passion for truth John Huss stood on the burning stake and shouted,"in a hundred years, God will raise up a man whose calls for reform cannot be suppressed."
And then, on the last day of October in 1517, 102 years after Huss's death, that young monk in Germany rose in the dusk of the evening and calmly nailed his 95 Thesis to the church door in Wittenburg. He caused a reform so grand that its influence still has affects today.